Book of Face: Ch. 9, Verses 31-37
I need to tell you something really important. I need you to listen, and I need you to take it to heart. I need you to do something for me…
I need you to love you.
Pretty simple right? I’m not really asking much. Just a small little act of love. An act of love towards yourself.
It sounds simple in theory, but in practice it becomes much more difficult.
We may have moments of pride in ourselves, when we think, “I’m pretty awesome,” or maybe just “I’m ok.”
What I’m talking about is the every day, day to day, view of ourselves. And that my friends is what’s really important. It is the action that is being reinforced every time we think it.
If we think things like, “I suck,” or “I’m a piece of crap,” or any other self-depreciating words, we are reinforcing that thought, strengthening those synaptic pathways, and increasing the likelihood of those thoughts reoccurring.
This is probably the point where you mind says, “but what if I do suck?” or “what if I really am a piece of crap?” or “he’s not talking about me,” or “he doesn’t really know me.”
I’m sorry, but did I fucking stutter?
I said “Stop It!”
Those kinds of thoughts have no use. They are a waste of your time, and they are lies.
Stop giving into them.
Now I know all this might sound preachy. Like I’m speaking from the pulpit. Like I’m the pope saying “love thy neighbour,” while living in a giant cathedral where there are no neighbours in sight. But that is not the case.
I’m speaking from very personal experience. I have walked this path, and sometimes I still do. I know how difficult it can be, and the kind of resistance we face. Those reinforced thoughts and behaviours are hard to purge. But purge we must. It is the only way to grow.
So how did (do) I overcome these thoughts? How did I learn to actually believe that I am an awesome individual that is worthy of being loved?
Well I came at it backwards. Or sideways. Or something other than straight on.
I could have just done the “little engine that could” thing. “I think I’m great, I think I’m great, I think I’m great.” Hey, maybe it works. But my technique was different.
I looked at my loved ones.
I looked to the people I loved, my family, my friends. I looked to the people I trusted. The people who’s opinions matter to me, who’s views I trust.
Often I would look at these people and say “they’re awesome,” and “I wish I was more like them.”
But then I looked at them and said, “I trust this person, right? I value their opinion, and trust their judge of character.”
So what do they think of me?
They love me.
Hmm… interesting thought. They love ME. Little ole me. Stupid and crappy me.
But I know them, they’re not the type to love crappy people. They surround themselves with awesome people. Yet they spend time with me?
So what’s the deal? Are they just wrong this one time? Or maybe, just maybe, they are seeing something that I have failed to see. They see the real me. I focus on the worst parts of myself, they see the whole picture. My best, my worst, and everything in between. And yet they still love me. Despite and perhaps because of my failings. They love me.
So if you really trust them, and you really love them, then “Trust Them!”
They know how awesome you are, now follow their lead. They see something in you worth loving, maybe you should do the same.
If you doubt yourself, they you doubt your friends.
You don’t doubt your friends, do you? Otherwise why are they your friends?
So please, do me this one favour, as a friend…
Love you, because I already do.