Book of Face: Ch. 4, Verses 13-17
How does your prostate feel today?
Mine? Well he’s doing alright. Could be better I guess. I think he’s a little upset with me. I don’t treat him as well as he deserves. I mean he’s always been there for me when I need him. And what do I do?
I beat the shit out of him.
What do prostates hate? Alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, refined sugars, saturated fats.
What do I feed him? Alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, refined sugars, saturated fats.
Hmm… no wonder he’s mad at me.
I wanted to partake in movember this year (moustaches are fun!). But I was confronted by a friend who asked, “are you gonna raise money?”
“No” I said. I mean who’d give this guy money for growin a stache, I’ve got facial hair 365 days a year.
“Well you can’t do it,” he said, “you’d just be a poser.”
Hmmm…. nobody wants to be a poser.
So what do I do? Just give up on the idea?
Then an idea came to me. Why don’t I use this movemeber to take care of the prostate I love the most, My prostate.
We’ve been together so long (it’ll be 28 years in only a couple days), and he’s been working so hard. I think he needs a vacation.
So this movember I will grow a stache in honor of my prostate (the wonderful prostate that he is).
I have decided for the health of my prostate I will be giving up some of my most loved pastimes. I will abstaining from substances that are toxic to my prostate for the remainder of this month (ie alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine).
I will also keep you posted on what I learn about our prostates, and their health (Did you know that regular sex is good for your prostate? True story).
That being said, I wish to have one last hurrah as a send off. And since my birthday is only days away I have decided that tonight will be a night to celebrate my birth and my prostate. So if you are in Edmonton and you want to have a night of poisoning our prostates (even if you don’t have one), Come out!
We will be having pre-festivities at Nathan’s place, then for a night of drinks and dancing at Blues on Whyte.
I hope to see you (literally) and your prostate (figuratively) there!
“Prostate” -from Greek -“prostates” meaning: “guardian, protector, one who stands before”